christian living, comparison, faith walk, God first, grace, trust
But God, she’s prettier, more talented, a better mom, wife, sister, friend …
I used to think only the full blooming flowers earned the label of “beautiful”. What about you? When I look at a fully blossomed flower, I can clearly see it’s at a different stage of growth than the two tightly curled and not-yet-opened flowers near it. And yet, I compared. I labeled one beautiful and the others, well, not.
Why do I think and believe such things? This is the six million dollar question!
As I’ve watched my yard grow through seasons and stages, I’ve gained a new appreciation for the formation of and the revealing of the “full bloom.” Like I did with flowers, I have compared myself to other women, determining my own worth by how I felt in contrast to another. It sounds crazy as I write it, but it’s so easy to fall into this comparison trap. Perhaps the crazier thing is, I wasn’t even comparing myself to their same season of life.
Like Eve in the first garden, how easy it was to listen to the serpents lies. He loves to get us distracted and focused on the wrong thing. Trying to measure up, losing sight of WHOSE we are. We are beautiful daughters of the Most High King, Our ABBA father is the CREATOR of all things – and He called all His creation good. We are good & we are beautiful.
I don’t know where you are on the mental rollercoaster of comparison, but I hope you’ll stop and consider if there are some mind habits that could use a perspective shift. Let’s get off the white knuckle ride of comparison. I want you to celebrate where the Lord’s brought you as He works in and through you. Comparison has only ever made me sick and it’s a bigtime confidence drain. Instead, embrace the beautiful stage of growth you are currently living, knowing God uses all of it for His honor and our good. Do you believe that, friend? I pray that you do.
Make this your prayer: Jesus, I want to embrace every aspect of growth you have for me. You, God, designed and created all things. You created me! Help me, when I fight hard against the season I am in. Forgive me for thinking I “know” better than you. Remind me that I can trust the growth you are bringing to my life, even if I don’t understand it. Lord, let me trust you and leave comparison behind.
christian living, faith walk, God first, impatience, life experience, perseverance, Prayer, resilience, trust, Uncategorized
I’m a fixer, a get it done girl, an advanced planner and someone who likes to think she has some control over situations and circumstances. As I prepare to share messages about Ruth, Tamar and Miriam, I’ve been juggling thoughts as I’ve been reading, highlighting and underlining. The question each story begs to know: What’s a girl to do when she bumps into circumstances beyond her control?
What I am learning from these women helps to answer that question:
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Ruth, widowed and without means, followed her bitter mother-in-law, Naomi, back to her homeland. Ruth gleaned for leftover grain, the only option she had. Yet she became the great grandmother of King David and is listed in the genealogy of Christ.
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Tamar was deceived and abandoned. She deceived in return. It’s a sordid tale. And yet it’s in scripture, perhaps as a cautionary tale. Poor choices and all, Tamar is also named in the lineage of Christ.
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Miriam bravely watches her brother Moses as he is saved by Pharaoh’s daughter, then challenges his God ordained authority, after all the miracles of the exodus. But she is the first woman to be called a prophetess in the Bible.
All of these women had something in common, besides being far from perfect, they didn’t know how their story would end. None of us do. Yet in the midst of it all, the ugly, the hard and harrowing, they encountered the God who created them, loved them and was still writing their stories.
How are you responding to circumstances that feel beyond your control? Are you trying to fix? Or are you trusting God has a plan?
Perhaps, like me, you need to be reminded that your story is still being written. That God is trustworthy even in our unknown and seemingly unfixable. The God who knew and loved Ruth, Tamar and Miriam, also knows and loves you. He’s the author of all of our stories. I’m daily learning to trust Him in all things.
PRAYER: “Lord, let me be a willing participant in all you are doing. Your ways are not my ways, they are often beyond my comprehension. Let me trust you and walk with you. Not away from you or ahead of you. Continue to teach me and draw me to yourself.”
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9 ESV
christian living, faith walk, God first, grace, impatience, life experience, parenting, relationships, resilience
In my teens I thought thirty somethings were over-the-hill, ancient people. Then when I turned 30, it felt like a light clicked on and I understood life better. After all, I was the oldest I had ever been.
My husband and I carried this phrase into parenting. We used to say, often with a knowing chuckle, “they are the oldest they have ever been.” The reason for the phrase was to recall our own growth journey and in turn find grace for our children.
At two, our toddler son felt like the king of the world with all his new abilities. Often saying, “I do it myself!” The confidence with each stage of development continued – single digit to tween, we’d say, “He’s the oldest he’s ever been.” When he was 18, was a senior in high school AND living at home, unique challenges and lively discussions abounded about house rules, freedom of choice and personal responsibility.
That son is now respectably closer to forty than eighteen. He’s more mature and thankfully, so am I.
I saw my forties as a great awakening of sorts. I dug deep into who I was – a child of God and my parents, baby sister to 4 siblings, but also a wife for 20 years, mom to three who was seeing life through her own longer lived experience.
The grace part became beautifully and deeply real. I needed to give grace like I had already received it.
Aging is an ebb and flow of living and learning. Wherever the Lord has you on the “you are as old as you’ve ever been” continuum, look in the mirror and accept that there is grace enough for you at every age. Then, freely give others lots of grace for their aging experience.
We are all the oldest we have ever been!
“… he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God…” Ephesisans 2:7-8
“…to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight…” Ephesians 1:6-8
christian living, faith walk, God first, Listening, perseverance, Prayer, resilience, should, spirituality
Do you ever get a song stuck in your head and you just can’t make it go away? It plays over and over and over again. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There’s a track that plays in my mind, much like a familiar tune, on repeat. But this track isn’t a happy dance tune, it’s rather melancholy, telling me that I haven’t done enough; that I could do more; that I “should have” ( ____ fill in the blank.) It plays on repeat as I try to live up to the “not enough” lies it’s chanting into my mind.⠀⠀⠀⠀
Are you familiar with this chatter?
I’ve discovered I’m very hard on myself. Even though perfection isn’t possible, there is the expectation in my mind that I “should be or do things perfectly.” I can verify, the “should lies” will get you down! They’ve left me feeling insignificant, like I’ve fallen short and can never measure up. The woulda, shoulda, coulda, game doesn’t allow for grace, nor does it comfort, rather it speaks lies and shame that I too quickly believe.
Do you have a soundtrack playing that you’d like to change? Listen closely…
Grace, defined as unmerited favor, is much easier to give than to receive. And yet, God – the Author of Life – offers His grace to us daily. He wants the soundtrack in our minds to speak truth and comfort to our souls – to speak grace over guilt, not condemnation and lies. It’s time to change the soundtrack.⠀
How do we change the inner soundtrack?
- Recognize the lie. Lies are from the enemy of our souls. Stop singing along with the lie.
- Reframe it by shifting from guilt and shame to possibility. We can do all things in Christ. His strength makes changing the soundtrack possible.
- Replace it with truth. Memorize truth. Sing truth. Talk about truth. Listen to the truth on repeat.
God’s Word is truth and our life source of wisdom and hope. Give truth more attention than the old soundtrack of lies. Soon, a new habit will form. Let the truth play over and over in your mind! Hello truth- Bye-bye lies!
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”⠀2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV⠀
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 ESV
christian living, faith walk, God first, impatience, Listening, perseverance
For someone who wants to be heard, I am a terrible listener at times. I’m determined to make a change in this behavior, so I started looking through my wisdom book (the Bible) for the word listen or hear. I discovered authors often paired listen with “they did not”!
How many times I’ve gone to the Lord in prayer so full of my own words, but I did not stop to listen to His words. I pray with a checklist of my hurts, hang ups and hopes. I spew them out rapid fire, asking God to fix it all, make it better and then…
end my prayer –
Because I have “stuff to do”. I’m busy. Overwhelmed.
I don’t stop and listen.
Listening applies to so many areas of life. I’m not good at listening to what my body is telling me. Without adequate rest, I push myself. I push myself emotionally, thinking, “I’ve got it all under control”. A reset in listening is what I need.
For the past several years, rather than resolutions each January, I have adopted a word to focus on through the coming year. The word is one I hope will help frame my actions and behavior toward maturity in meaningful ways.
I don’t know if choosing a word is like asking for patience, but the word listen has been a recurring theme lately. Exposing both my desire to be heard and my shortcoming as a good listener. ouch. If I want others to listen to me, I must practice the art of listening.
Like the people I was reading about in the Bible, I’m slow to listen but quick to speak or act. Listening is a skill gained with practice. This year I’d like to practice being quick to hear/listen and slower to speak and act. I know my husband would appreciate this intentional focus. My body might function better and emotionally, I’ll be better equipped to love and serve others the way I’d like to.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19
A positive side of listening, particularly to God in His Word, is added wisdom. Proverbs tells me to listen so that I can gain wisdom. “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” Proverbs 19:20
An action with a promise.
I don’t know if you make resolutions, or choose a word of the year, either way I’m praying you “listen” well to what the Lord wants to show you in 2023. The beauty of our faithwalk is how much we can learn about God and His character. In a million lifetimes we could not know it all – but given the chance, I want to develop the skills of a good listener, so that I can apply His knowledge and wisdom to my choices.
Lord, let me learn to listen and grow wise mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally! In all the ways you created me, let me listen well.
Advent, christian living, faith walk, God first, Prayer, restoration, spirituality
When was the last time you were out in a field in the middle of the night and the heavens opened with angels singing? Me either! It’s no coincidence that of all the characters included in the Christmas narrative, shepherds received a center stage moment. I don’t have to know much about a shepherd to realize the night watch requires a special person. One who remains alert, attentive and ready to protect the sheep from any enemy lurking in the shadows.
Tim Keller, in his book Hidden Christmas, points out that their inclusion isn’t just to set the pastoral scene, but they are there for us to learn from. The shepherds didn’t just “see” the star, they also experienced the angelic heavenly hosts. Luke tells us when the angels left, the shepherds wanted to “go and see”. They also “returned and worshiped”. Protectors, by vocation worshiping the Incarnate Creator of the Universe, Immanuel, God with us. I believe we are all hard wired to worship. The question is, what will be the object of our worship? The shepherds chose “… glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen.” They saw, they believed, and they worshiped. What joy must have filled their hearts that night.
The Old Testament speaks of the good shepherd who is to come, and his purpose is seeking the lost sheep (John 10:10). He tells us Jesus is a good shepherd; He knows his sheep. He leads them to cool waters and green meadows for nourishment and rescues them when they are stuck. We sheep can’t get more stuck than being bound by stubbornness and independence, separated from God, wanting to control our own destiny and believing we can do it.
As sheep, we inevitably find ourselves stuck with no way forward or back. A situation only a Savior can fix. This Shepherd/Savior brings us to a fold of safety by declaring His righteousness over us – not because of our own doing. We can never “do” or “be” enough. It’s His sacrifice alone. He is the protective caregiver desiring that none should perish or stay separated from Him.
Jesus, is our Good Shepherd & Protector. May we choose to worship and adore him, knowing He is forever alert, attentive and gave Himself to protect us, His sheep.
Psalm 80:1-3 “Give ear, O Shepherd of Israel, you who lead Joseph like a flock. You who are enthroned upon the cherubim, shine forth. Before Ephraim and Benjamin and Manasseh, stir up your might and come to save us! Restore us, O God; let your face shine, that we may be saved!”
Matthew 18: 10–14
John 10:11 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.”
John 10:14 -15 “I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father; and I lay down my life for the sheep.”
Sing: Savior like a Shepherd Lead Us & Hark the Herald Angels Sing
