christian living, comparison, faith walk, God first, grace, trust
But God, she’s prettier, more talented, a better mom, wife, sister, friend …
I used to think only the full blooming flowers earned the label of “beautiful”. What about you? When I look at a fully blossomed flower, I can clearly see it’s at a different stage of growth than the two tightly curled and not-yet-opened flowers near it. And yet, I compared. I labeled one beautiful and the others, well, not.
Why do I think and believe such things? This is the six million dollar question!
As I’ve watched my yard grow through seasons and stages, I’ve gained a new appreciation for the formation of and the revealing of the “full bloom.” Like I did with flowers, I have compared myself to other women, determining my own worth by how I felt in contrast to another. It sounds crazy as I write it, but it’s so easy to fall into this comparison trap. Perhaps the crazier thing is, I wasn’t even comparing myself to their same season of life.
Like Eve in the first garden, how easy it was to listen to the serpents lies. He loves to get us distracted and focused on the wrong thing. Trying to measure up, losing sight of WHOSE we are. We are beautiful daughters of the Most High King, Our ABBA father is the CREATOR of all things – and He called all His creation good. We are good & we are beautiful.
I don’t know where you are on the mental rollercoaster of comparison, but I hope you’ll stop and consider if there are some mind habits that could use a perspective shift. Let’s get off the white knuckle ride of comparison. I want you to celebrate where the Lord’s brought you as He works in and through you. Comparison has only ever made me sick and it’s a bigtime confidence drain. Instead, embrace the beautiful stage of growth you are currently living, knowing God uses all of it for His honor and our good. Do you believe that, friend? I pray that you do.
Make this your prayer: Jesus, I want to embrace every aspect of growth you have for me. You, God, designed and created all things. You created me! Help me, when I fight hard against the season I am in. Forgive me for thinking I “know” better than you. Remind me that I can trust the growth you are bringing to my life, even if I don’t understand it. Lord, let me trust you and leave comparison behind.
christian living, faith walk, grace, perseverance, restoration, spirituality
Imagine we were having a conversation and I said, “It’s a new year and it still feels like December.” I’m guessing you would say something like, “I get it. It’s okay if it doesn’t feel new yet. There’s no right or wrong way to feel about a new year.”
I might say, “My tree is still up and my house is a mess.” You would say, “Be kind to yourself, friend, it’s okay if it’s not all done yet. There isn’t a deadline you have to meet.”
I might say, “I’m overwhelmed at the thought of all this year might hold. It feels so out of my control.” You might say, “Oh friend, I understand. The unknown future can feel so uncertain.” You might also say, “I’m learning to trust the unknown to our known God.”
It’s easier to respond to a friend with gentleness than it is to ourselves. Include yourself in the kindness you offer to others.
Can I remind you:
- Be kind to yourself.
- Speak graciously to yourself.
- Let the truth of Christ settle on you like a warm blanket.
- Know that there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ.
May this year be the year that you lean into truth over condemnation.
Happy Dec-anuary, from a half decorated, holiday home loving, work-in-progress friend.
Advent, christian living, Christmas, faith walk, grace, humility, Prayer, resilience, restoration
Even with all the hustle and bustle, my heart longs to sit in the glow of the fire light, and think about the journey Mary took to bring the Light into this dark world.
In a situation most would crumble and cry, scripture tells us that Mary sang. She didn’t sing mournfully but triumphantly. Rejoicing and magnifying the Lord for what He was doing in and through her. She was a willing participant in God’s plan. Let me be like Mary!
Triumphantly, into this darkness His Light came. Revealing truth, pruning and making me grow. His light is essential for life. His Light changed and continues to change everything!
I, too, want to sing about the merciful, glorious Light of the World! Because of His Light I am forever changed – from the inside out! Lord, make me like Mary, singing triumphantly in the dark and uncertain days. May my hope always be in you alone. May your Light shine through me into dark places so that others will see Your great and glorious light.
The Magnificat
And Mary said, “My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant. For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name. And his mercy is for those who fear him from generation to generation.
He has shown strength with his arm; he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts;
he has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate;
he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy,
as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.” Luke 1:46-55
christian living, faith walk, grace, humility, impatience, life experience, Prayer, relationships, resilience, restoration
Can I be honest? I found myself more than irritated with the “customer service” rep on the other end of the phone. I thought my request was simple enough, but I ended up with a bigger mess. Sadly, my irritation was obvious, and I was more direct than needed with the agent. Sad face.
My quick words with their edgy tone have been an uphill battle for me. How is it that my love of words is also a tripping hazard?
My sweet husband reminds me that all isn’t lost and I have made progress in this verbal arena. He says I’m slower to be reactive and harsh with my words. Yay! But I still ask myself what have I done to soften my tone and find gentler/kinder phrasing?
- I confess to the Lord, who is always there, ready to listen.
- I admit that I still struggle to soften my words and my tone.
- I ask forgiveness from the Forgiver of all.
As I am humbled again, by His grace,
- it occurs to me that the customer service rep also needs an apology from me.
Feel free to check on me and ask me how the apology went. I’ll appreciate the accountability.
If there is a lesson you are learning on repeat, would you please share it with me in an email? I’d love to pray for you as you graciously learn to repeat the lesson less often!
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” Proverbs 21:23
christian living, faith walk, God first, grace, impatience, life experience, parenting, relationships, resilience
In my teens I thought thirty somethings were over-the-hill, ancient people. Then when I turned 30, it felt like a light clicked on and I understood life better. After all, I was the oldest I had ever been.
My husband and I carried this phrase into parenting. We used to say, often with a knowing chuckle, “they are the oldest they have ever been.” The reason for the phrase was to recall our own growth journey and in turn find grace for our children.
At two, our toddler son felt like the king of the world with all his new abilities. Often saying, “I do it myself!” The confidence with each stage of development continued – single digit to tween, we’d say, “He’s the oldest he’s ever been.” When he was 18, was a senior in high school AND living at home, unique challenges and lively discussions abounded about house rules, freedom of choice and personal responsibility.
That son is now respectably closer to forty than eighteen. He’s more mature and thankfully, so am I.
I saw my forties as a great awakening of sorts. I dug deep into who I was – a child of God and my parents, baby sister to 4 siblings, but also a wife for 20 years, mom to three who was seeing life through her own longer lived experience.
The grace part became beautifully and deeply real. I needed to give grace like I had already received it.
Aging is an ebb and flow of living and learning. Wherever the Lord has you on the “you are as old as you’ve ever been” continuum, look in the mirror and accept that there is grace enough for you at every age. Then, freely give others lots of grace for their aging experience.
We are all the oldest we have ever been!
“… he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God…” Ephesisans 2:7-8
“…to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight…” Ephesians 1:6-8
