christian living, faith walk, God first, grace, impatience, life experience, parenting, relationships, resilience
In my teens I thought thirty somethings were over-the-hill, ancient people. Then when I turned 30, it felt like a light clicked on and I understood life better. After all, I was the oldest I had ever been.
My husband and I carried this phrase into parenting. We used to say, often with a knowing chuckle, “they are the oldest they have ever been.” The reason for the phrase was to recall our own growth journey and in turn find grace for our children.
At two, our toddler son felt like the king of the world with all his new abilities. Often saying, “I do it myself!” The confidence with each stage of development continued – single digit to tween, we’d say, “He’s the oldest he’s ever been.” When he was 18, was a senior in high school AND living at home, unique challenges and lively discussions abounded about house rules, freedom of choice and personal responsibility.
That son is now respectably closer to forty than eighteen. He’s more mature and thankfully, so am I.
I saw my forties as a great awakening of sorts. I dug deep into who I was – a child of God and my parents, baby sister to 4 siblings, but also a wife for 20 years, mom to three who was seeing life through her own longer lived experience.
The grace part became beautifully and deeply real. I needed to give grace like I had already received it.
Aging is an ebb and flow of living and learning. Wherever the Lord has you on the “you are as old as you’ve ever been” continuum, look in the mirror and accept that there is grace enough for you at every age. Then, freely give others lots of grace for their aging experience.
We are all the oldest we have ever been!
“… he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God…” Ephesisans 2:7-8
“…to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight…” Ephesians 1:6-8
christian living, faith walk, God first, Listening, perseverance, Prayer, resilience, should, spirituality
Do you ever get a song stuck in your head and you just can’t make it go away? It plays over and over and over again. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There’s a track that plays in my mind, much like a familiar tune, on repeat. But this track isn’t a happy dance tune, it’s rather melancholy, telling me that I haven’t done enough; that I could do more; that I “should have” ( ____ fill in the blank.) It plays on repeat as I try to live up to the “not enough” lies it’s chanting into my mind.⠀⠀⠀⠀
Are you familiar with this chatter?
I’ve discovered I’m very hard on myself. Even though perfection isn’t possible, there is the expectation in my mind that I “should be or do things perfectly.” I can verify, the “should lies” will get you down! They’ve left me feeling insignificant, like I’ve fallen short and can never measure up. The woulda, shoulda, coulda, game doesn’t allow for grace, nor does it comfort, rather it speaks lies and shame that I too quickly believe.
Do you have a soundtrack playing that you’d like to change? Listen closely…
Grace, defined as unmerited favor, is much easier to give than to receive. And yet, God – the Author of Life – offers His grace to us daily. He wants the soundtrack in our minds to speak truth and comfort to our souls – to speak grace over guilt, not condemnation and lies. It’s time to change the soundtrack.⠀
How do we change the inner soundtrack?
- Recognize the lie. Lies are from the enemy of our souls. Stop singing along with the lie.
- Reframe it by shifting from guilt and shame to possibility. We can do all things in Christ. His strength makes changing the soundtrack possible.
- Replace it with truth. Memorize truth. Sing truth. Talk about truth. Listen to the truth on repeat.
God’s Word is truth and our life source of wisdom and hope. Give truth more attention than the old soundtrack of lies. Soon, a new habit will form. Let the truth play over and over in your mind! Hello truth- Bye-bye lies!
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”⠀2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV⠀
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.” Romans 8:1-2
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 ESV
christian living, faith walk, friendship, life experience, Listening, perseverance, Prayer, relationships, spirituality
I love my yellow boots. Although they are perfect for mucking through garden mud and planting pansies, they could hardly be called the “right shoe” for a day at the office or a night out when I need a more polished look. Understanding the “right shoe for the job” has many helpful implications.
There have been many times when I failed to choose the right “shoe or tool” for a situation.
- What tone of voice is best? House shoes or Military boots?
- What facial expression communicates my heart? Brightly colored sandals?
- When is a hug needed more than words? Fuzzy slippers might do the trick.
- When does listening have a greater impact than speaking? Sneakers are multipurpose and particularly good for listening due to their quiet nature.
I’ve been on a quest to identify the right shoes for the job. Some tasks call for shoes that are comfortable for more than 2 hours, ( wouldn’t it help if they were labeled by their hours of wear time!) but I’m also learning that what is most comfortable for me, isn’t always best for the situation. My yellow boots may be great for stomping through the yard, but the lighter footprint required at times, means a shoe change for me.
It’s ironic that I can learn so much when wearing my garden stomping boots and yet I can fail at the finesse needed in more delicate circumstances.
If you also need a little help choosing your shoes, or communication tools, spend time with these encouraging words of wise counsel from God’s Word, the Bible.
“The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:23-24
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” James 1:5
Lord, help me to seek your wisdom about the right tools and shoes for the job! May I know when to step lightly and when to quietly listen.
christian living, faith walk, friendship, life experience, parenting, perseverance
Once upon a time there was a mom with three young kids who didn’t know how to ask for help. Even when her legs and joints stopped working, as the pain of Valley Fever attacked her body, she put on the “I’m okay” mask and tried to carry on with life.
However, in this chapter, “carrying on” was hard because her body wasn’t cooperating. It needed time to heal and healing meant she needed to rest. And ask for help.
Rest and Help were both foreign words to this energizer bunny, mom. Thankfully, those who knew her, also knew she needed help, whether she asked, admitted or not.
- Laundry. Meals. Picking up kids. Taking them on school trips. Band practice. More meals. Dance. School. More laundry. Weeks turning into months.
All such gracious gifts. Gifts she was humbled to receive. Gifts that would be hard to repay.
As the next chapters were written, the mom had wise women in her life who would remind her that the gifts “could” be repaid, as occasion permitted, but they were offered without strings. The mom was humbled and challenged to accept them as such.
The Greatest Gift we can ever receive is also offered without strings.
Chapter upon chapter, the mom was learning more about grace and gifts – deserved and undeserved.
christian living, faith walk, God first, impatience, Listening, perseverance
For someone who wants to be heard, I am a terrible listener at times. I’m determined to make a change in this behavior, so I started looking through my wisdom book (the Bible) for the word listen or hear. I discovered authors often paired listen with “they did not”!
How many times I’ve gone to the Lord in prayer so full of my own words, but I did not stop to listen to His words. I pray with a checklist of my hurts, hang ups and hopes. I spew them out rapid fire, asking God to fix it all, make it better and then…
end my prayer –
Because I have “stuff to do”. I’m busy. Overwhelmed.
I don’t stop and listen.
Listening applies to so many areas of life. I’m not good at listening to what my body is telling me. Without adequate rest, I push myself. I push myself emotionally, thinking, “I’ve got it all under control”. A reset in listening is what I need.
For the past several years, rather than resolutions each January, I have adopted a word to focus on through the coming year. The word is one I hope will help frame my actions and behavior toward maturity in meaningful ways.
I don’t know if choosing a word is like asking for patience, but the word listen has been a recurring theme lately. Exposing both my desire to be heard and my shortcoming as a good listener. ouch. If I want others to listen to me, I must practice the art of listening.
Like the people I was reading about in the Bible, I’m slow to listen but quick to speak or act. Listening is a skill gained with practice. This year I’d like to practice being quick to hear/listen and slower to speak and act. I know my husband would appreciate this intentional focus. My body might function better and emotionally, I’ll be better equipped to love and serve others the way I’d like to.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” James 1:19
A positive side of listening, particularly to God in His Word, is added wisdom. Proverbs tells me to listen so that I can gain wisdom. “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future.” Proverbs 19:20
An action with a promise.
I don’t know if you make resolutions, or choose a word of the year, either way I’m praying you “listen” well to what the Lord wants to show you in 2023. The beauty of our faithwalk is how much we can learn about God and His character. In a million lifetimes we could not know it all – but given the chance, I want to develop the skills of a good listener, so that I can apply His knowledge and wisdom to my choices.
Lord, let me learn to listen and grow wise mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally! In all the ways you created me, let me listen well.
