christian living, faith walk, God first, impatience, resilience
Like a beaver out to win a logging competition, I attacked my shrubs with a vengeance. My tool of choice, a Hedge trimmer. The two-foot bar of steel teeth whirring back and forth, open cut, open cut; devouring anything caught between the sharp blades, making quick work of the pruning task. I told myself all the branches hanging over the driveway had to go. Although I encourage the natural growth pattern of plants and allow them to find their own shape, even this felt out of control. I pointed the Hedge trimmer to line up with the planter’s edge and turned the power on. It was a drastic move that gave a severe outcome. With a blur of blades, task complete, and the shrub no longer hung over the driveway. Perhaps I enjoy power tools a little too much.
Choices and consequences. A moment of haste, and well….
The now exposed undergrowth was dull and leafless. I wasn’t really going for the midwinter brown, bare-branched look. The indiscriminate Hedge trimmer removed all the greenery. In my haste to get caught up on yard work, my efforts looked choppy and extreme.
Quick, yes, but….
All the things I know to be true about caring for and tending to plants flash across my mind as I stare at the result of my impatient choice. There is a way to prune a shrub that doesn’t leave such scars on the exterior but-it takes more time.
What I know and what I do, don’t always align…
I’ve seen the skillful touch of a master gardener finding individual branches and clipping below the surface, leaving healthy plant life on the exterior. In my humanity and haste, I get frustrated and impatient. Instead of following the lessons of the master gardener, who gently prunes with a snip here and a snip there, I want radical change yesterday, so I end up creating a naked bush, begging for a do-over or at least a different gardener.
For tools, any tool will do, right?
So maybe the Hedge trimmer wasn’t the right tool for this job. The raw evidence of a job done in haste revealed my impatience. I assure myself that the plant will sprout new leaves and cover my rash decision, but hindsight reminds me, I could have chosen a different tool.
Bigger isn’t always better…
My garage is full of tools of varying sizes and purposes. Shovels, rakes, power trimmers, leaf blowers, edgers, loppers and pole saws. My favorite, the hand pruner is small, maybe 7 inches total. It has a sharp curved blade that cuts clean through small branches.
Precision is priceless…
I also know the Master Gardener for being precise. His aim is sure. He doesn’t lay bare everything in my life all at once. In His mercy and grace, He tends to my soul with finesse. He does not use a hedge trimmer on my wayward growth patterns. He carefully, thoughtfully because he knows, and loves me – reaches into the shrub that is my life and snips a little here and trims a little there. Taking his time to nurture and encourage new growth patterns in me.
Patience is a virtue, but I’m in too much of a hurry…
I need to learn it anew, Lord. Slow my pace. Teach me to believe your methods are for my good and your glory. Challenge me to trust your wisdom and the tools of your choosing.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
James 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
John 15:1-2 I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
faith walk, forgotten, parenting, perseverance, relationships, resilience
Celebrated days are messy middle days–joy for one, heartache for another.
Looking for the right words to express both-and.
Deep love and appreciation. Humbled by grace and hardened by grief.
Mixed Feelings. Raw emotions.
Loss. Longing. Joy and thanksgiving.
Empty in one relationship. Full in another.
A scale that isn’t balanced.
Expectations. Emotions. Decisions. High mountains. Low valleys.
Mom, daughter, sister, auntie, step-daughter, daughter-in-law, grandma, and the generations go.
Not all celebrated relationships are direct relations.
Embrace what you can.
Sometimes, in the anguish of reality, a brightness warms the night.
Be a light. Walk in the light, it brings hope to darkness.
An experience or individual that shapes us, love of another–
a mother: by choice, by circumstance, or by heart.
From a distance, in your dreams and wishes, in reality and in loss.
Whatever place your mind dwells, on this day of celebrating motherhood,
may you find peace in the imperfection of this life. Joy on your journey,
And grace for the hard, the healing and the hopeful.
christian living, faith walk, forgotten, friendship, life experience, relationships, resilience, spirituality
I didn’t know “seasonal” could describe friendship or that not all friendships last a lifetime.
In my mid-twenties & struggling to understand recent friendship shifts, I observed my mother, a time-tested military wife. She had moved many times, and didn’t have a bestie or a group of gal-pals she reached back to as she was transplanted again. She started where she was, propagating new friendships and cultivating hospitality.
At first, I was sad for her. But my feelings didn’t match her emotions. She wasn’t sad. She had learned to embrace the changes that came with the military lifestyle. Settled and friends took on new meaning. She inwardly mourned the loss of what had been and outwardly embraced the now. She welcomed unfamiliar faces into every home in my memory.
She lived Ecclesiastes 3: There’s a time for every activity under the sun. Like the illustration of planting and harvesting, my mom planted seeds of friendship in the soil of each location.
Do these thoughts about friendship and seasons stir emotions in you?
Have you worked the soil with little to show for it?
For too many years, I carried guilt for friendships that seemed lost in the past, feeling as though I had “failed” to maintain a connection across the planting and harvesting of life.
If you’re in a time of friendship shifting, can I suggest my mom’s habit of tilling the soil of acquaintances?
Reach out and extend hospitality.
- Be the person others can gather with.
- Be patient with the in-between times. They can feel awkward and lonely. Lean into the God who created you. He knows your need for connection. Tell Him how you feel, then keep working the soil. Watch Him provide.
- Be careful that friendship isn’t where you find your security and identity, find it in your relationship with Christ.
- Be a thanksgiver in every season. Send a note or text of appreciation to a friend that enriched your life in a previous season.
Rest your roots in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
christian living, faith walk, perseverance, resilience
You’ve heard the phrases: I hope I get that pay raise. I hope my kids do well in school. I hope the neighbor’s stolen car is found. I hope my team wins. I hope the surgery goes well. I hope the drive through is quick today. The word hope get applied to many situations.
How do you use hope? I have hoped for restored relationships and renewed health. But what does it mean to hope? Where does it come from? Is it anything like a wish? Are hope and wish interchangeable?
Hope /hōp/ noun 1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
Wish /wiSH/verb 1. feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; want something that cannot or probably will not happen.
As kids, we wished on stars, hoped for school delays and threw pennies in a fountain. We weren’t devastated when the “wish” didn’t come true, we moved onto the next wish. As grown-ups, we want our wishing and hoping backed by guarantees, better odds, an even playing field, and yet, experience tells us, outcomes aren’t guaranteed. There isn’t an a+b=c equation for life. So how do we find genuine hope?
As I’ve walked with God, growing in my faith and understanding of His character, mentions of hope in the Bible jump out at me. I pay close attention and read them again. How does faith change my understanding of hope?
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5.
Faith gives peace, suffering produces endurance and it allows character building, which causes us to rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not a formula, but not a wish either. Faith and hope are active, not passive, and they begin with God, not me.
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Psalm 42:11
The psalmist reminds himself of God’s salvation. When I’m lacking hope, what do I remind myself of?
“You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.” Psalm 119:114
God is a trustworthy refuge and shield. His word gives hope. I can trust/hope in His word.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Next time I’m tempted to wish something could be different, I’ll recall these verses and balance my thought with the God of hope. He is hope. When I’m hoping, it’s in Him, for His honor and glory alone. Hard things aren’t discounted , simplified or overlooked rather, they are looked at through the lens of hope, not my own wishing. Hope is me depending on God. Trusting in His character. His word.
Let’s enter 2022 with renewed hope and faith in God.
Action step: Look in your Bible concordance for the word HOPE and list verses you find. Write them out. Ask God (prayer) to build in you a confidence in Him, in Hope.
faith walk, parenting, perseverance, Prayer, resilience
Giggles and grins to melt your heart, as she spins on the merry-go-round “one more time”. Then over to the bars to show her muscular arms and just once on the swing. Please Gaga?
Amazed at the energy level it takes to keep track of a little one. Grand parenting is a blast and I’m so thankful for it, but wow oh wow–I have renewed giant respect for all the parents out there doing the hard work on the daily. 24/7/365. I’m sure some days feel like they drag on for weeks.
I am praying for you in this season.
Whether you are juggling work schedules, flying solo, co-parenting, dealing with an ex, managing health concerns, fostering a child or children, stepping in to help a friend or family member with parenting, the daily routine must feel endless. I know you love the parenting role, but some days, “being” a parent is just flat out exhausting. Please know, in my book, you all are Super Heroes. Ripped capes, shredded super-suits, the whole messy thing. I applaud you and want to publicly sing your praises. You are the unsung heroes of our society. You are raising the next generation of artists, writers, teachers, biologist, musicians, doctors and engineers. You meet unspoken needs, clothe, bathe, feed, cry with and over your dear littles. (whatever their age, they fall into this category if you are a mom) You set the tone for moods in your home by your responses. You speak love by your actions. You teach by example.
I am praying for you in this season.
You wear so many hats: juggler, educator, EMT, taxi driver, tantrum calmer, booboo kisser, skill set developer, mentor, dream builder, financial advisor, chaperone, host with the most, make-it-happen project helper, number one fan and cheerleader. The list goes on. With all the hats comes the joy of seeing your child grow in their choices, achievements and, must I say, failures. The learning curve on life is sharp. Unexpected curves abound and you just keep plugging away, showing up, cheering them on, loving, directing and doing what needs to be done.
I am praying for you in this season.
May you know your value and worth as a parent.
May you feel sustained on your toughest days.
May you have the courage to reach out when you need help, even a nap.
May you speak life over your children and yourself.
May you guard your heart and mind from lies that bombard you.
May you find your source of strength when the days weaken you to the core.
May your heart find a home where you feel safe and comforted.
May you know the moments are long, but the years are short.
May you keep a long haul, end game perspective where your child is concerned.
May you yourself be the biggest cheerleader and encourager your child knows.
May you offer hospitality to your kids’ friends. An open home is a like a warm hug.
May you listen and observe often. Kids speak without words.
May you know how much you matter to your kids.
May you know you encourage other parents when you share from the heart.
May you know kids seek their parent’s approval always.
May you know you are not alone on this journey.
May you know you can reach out for help, resources, encouragement and prayer.
May the God who created you, your child, your family, be your source of strength, the anchor for your soul, and the confidence you need to press on.
I am praying for you in this season.
Thank you for doing the hero dance daily–regardless of the condition of your cape or super suit!
christian living, forgotten, life experience, perseverance, relationships, resilience
A family trip, station wagon loaded. Two adults, five kids, a lightning-fast refuel and potty stop. Back in the car there was unexpected elbow room. With 5 kids, elbow room is prime real estate! In the typical mayhem of doors opening, closing, all the skooching and shifting, bodies settling into travel position, one must ask, who is supposed to count heads? It might have been the prequel to the Home Alone movies. This story ended well enough- we went back for my older sister and she gladly took up that extra real estate in the back seat.
Often, we find ourselves left at the gas station wondering how God could be so unaware of our predicament. Forgotten. Unremembered. Set aside. Out of sight, out of mind. Circumstances beyond what we can bear, much less control. The questions fly.
God, why did you… (fill in the blank), Why God, didn’t you (insert thought here) When will you???? How?? What on earth were you thinking God, really? All the questions and all the feels. It takes time for understanding to settle on my heart and in my mind. In some situation’s there is no understanding, only acceptance. Accepting that we might never understand.
Hard stories, survival, observing others overcome difficulty gives one hope. Because they endured, we can too. But none of us sign up to be the poster child for getting left at the gas station, being single, raising a special needs child, having no children to raise, death of a loved one, outliving cancer, divorce, abuse and the list goes on. Life is rarely what we expect, but scripture reveals that God does not forget us, He would not be God if he did. His Holy Word tells us he cannot forget his creation.
Luke 12:6-7 “Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
The only hairs I ever counted were grey, and I couldn’t keep up. God counts them all: the grey, the bleached and those that fell out due to stress. He knows and he sees.
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Do I believe this?
Phil 4:19 “My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”
Every need. It is easy to confuse needs and wants. I struggle with this one often. God is always teaching me that His ways are higher than mine. He sees and He loves.
Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death not life nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Nothing means No thing. No one. Zip, Nada.
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be Strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”
He cannot.
Deuteronomy 31:8 “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
You might not see him friend, but he is there. He cannot be otherwise. He sees you – always.
Proverbs 3:5-7 are my life verses. Life-not my verses for a season. These are verses I will cling to until my last breath here on earth. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.”
Evil is not just out there — often it is in my heart, my thoughts. Thinking too highly of myself. Thinking that God’s “plan” for me should be easier than it is or has been. I do not know the mind of God, but He knows the mind of man and He calls us to trust him, acknowledge him, fear him–reverently and turn from evil. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
I do not presume to know the depth of every hardship faced in this life, but I can say with certainty that the God who designed and created us in his likeness, knows everything about us–and loves us still. Standing outside the gas station waiting for your family to return might feel like an eternity, but God knows, He sees, and He loves you and me. He promises to never leave us.
That includes gas stations.
John 3:16-17 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world but to save the world through him.”
