christian living, faith walk, life experience, parenting, Prayer, relationships, resilience
Seasons change. Suitcases packed, sitting by the door, and ready for the car. Intimidating thoughts creep into my mind as the last bag gets zipped shut: “What am I forgetting?” “Have I taught her enough?” Much less “When will we see each other again?” The frantic double checking of pre-departure. Exhilaration and emotional fragility mingled together. This wasn’t an unfamiliar scenario for us. Our older two kids had already departed, attended college and graduated into their next seasons.
Fall’s cooler nights were right around the corner. The cycle of shorter days and pre-dormancy leaf drop. All reminders of how I felt saying farewell to my youngest daughter. Her joy had been a constant brightness to my days. I struggled to imagine my house in a quiet, dormant state.
Preparing a child for life out in the big world is what we, as parents, do – often without realizing it- in every season of their life. However, it gets masked by schedules, activities and so much “right now” that the tomorrows of adulthood seem far away. Somehow, as my kids arrived at the midpoint of their high school years, the reality of the “next” season hit me. Questions flying through my mind: “Can they do laundry or grocery shop?” “Will they be good with their money?” Like cramming for a test last minute, these questions only brought anxiety, as there was little time left to implement extra training.
It’s a subtle tactic of the enemy to get us distracted from a sacred moment of blessing our kids into their future. I was stuck dwelling on what I might have missed in the past. If the enemy has me worrying about something behind me, how attentive am I to what is right in front of me?
Sending my first two children off to the independence of college life was hard, but different from this youngest child, who chose a school not just out of state, but across the country. Her choice was good, and we were excited for her. However, there would be no hopping in the car to attend a concert or school activity. This farewell was not a “See you in a couple of weeks” scenario. We packed for a short drive to the airport but a long separation after takeoff.
There was a finality to this departure. I remember our house feeling void of conversation and laughter. Meals for two instead of the 3 plus that came with her friend circle. No sounds of life from her bedroom. No extra shoes by the front door. Just an unusual silence. We were entering an unknown season. A season she had been expecting, and I was equally dreading.
Winter’s drop in temperature was no match for my cold emotions as I realized how unprepared I felt for this time and how to fill it. The question of what I would do with my newfound “free” time hadn’t had a moment to marinate in my mind. I was preoccupied with the here and now. I had given no thought to the rebirthing of my long dormant visions of writing. But seasons change whether or not we are ready.
The Old Testament (Genesis 37, 39-46) tells of a boy with a glorious coat of marvelous colors who received visions from God that seemed oddly out of place for his age. Jealous brothers stopped the boy’s fantastical dreaming by dropping him in a pit. From pit, to prison, to palace, God’s vision given to Joseph was unfolding in ways he never envisioned for himself.
An avid scrapbook mom when all my kids were home, I spent precious hours documenting their life in pictures. It had been a great joy for me. As the graduation for our youngest neared, the calendar reminded me there was much on my scrapbooking to do list that might not get done. Life had moved so quickly that I wasn’t keeping up with my expectation of completed memory books. After she left for college, I thought the urge to complete the books would return, but it faded. I couldn’t make myself work on the project I had so passionately enjoyed before. I was grieving and lost all desire to relive the memories or creatively preserve them. Eventually, a sheet was used to cover my work area. Out of sight, out of mind, but still heavy on my heart.
Winter was a struggle for me. Loneliness and sad days. Lots of tears. Loving long naps more than connecting with others. I wasn’t prepared for the depth of loss I felt, no longer being the mom who interacted with her kids every day. Like Joseph, I wasn’t prepared for this next season.
As spring flowers began their bold arrival in my yard, so too was a new hope growing in my heart. I tried to trust God’s infinite wisdom even when I couldn’t see what was ahead. Life transitions naturally come with questions about the future and all the unknowns. I hoped the Lord would share a future page with me. Just a brief glimpse. Instead, He called me to wait, just as I waited for His created seasons to reveal themselves in my yard.
Summer arrived like the rush of warmth when the oven door opens, wafting out the fragrance of fresh baked bread. Sustenance from the Bread of Life. Longer days and perhaps a clearer vision of what this new season might hold for me. Words long dormant resurfaced in my heart and on paper. While empty scrapbook pages still rested untouched, my written thoughts had found their way – by God’s design alone – into an encouragement for others. His vision for my writing, born in a season of young children and with no time to develop it, found its summer of growth as only God could have orchestrated. But I had to live the yesterday’s and today’s to get to the tomorrow of the Lord’s design.
Joseph had no way of knowing what the Lord would engineer out of his vision to pit to prison to palace life. But God had promised that one day Israel would produce a Savior. Joseph was in that lineage, a vision orchestrated by Almighty God, to provide us all with our Messiah and Redeemer.
- Is there a vision planted in your heart that is waiting to be birthed into reality?
- Are you trusting that the Lord is more than able to bring it about in His time?
- Can you be grateful amid a season that feels like winter’s dark days?
- Can you believe that the God of creation is still writing your story?
I am grateful for the winter. I can trust there are more words, more pages, completed chapters – all to come. In the slower seasons of apparent dormancy, the Lord has not abandoned us, but like the seeds that sprout in season, like Joseph in the pit, prison or palace, we are being formed into His likeness and at a time of His choosing – life will spring forth. Hope renewed and He will restore our joy.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 “…to everything there is a season…”
Article first posted as a guest blog for Michele Wilbert. Thank you Michele!
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christian living, faith walk, God first, impatience, resilience
Like a beaver out to win a logging competition, I attacked my shrubs with a vengeance. My tool of choice, a Hedge trimmer. The two-foot bar of steel teeth whirring back and forth, open cut, open cut; devouring anything caught between the sharp blades, making quick work of the pruning task. I told myself all the branches hanging over the driveway had to go. Although I encourage the natural growth pattern of plants and allow them to find their own shape, even this felt out of control. I pointed the Hedge trimmer to line up with the planter’s edge and turned the power on. It was a drastic move that gave a severe outcome. With a blur of blades, task complete, and the shrub no longer hung over the driveway. Perhaps I enjoy power tools a little too much.
Choices and consequences. A moment of haste, and well….
The now exposed undergrowth was dull and leafless. I wasn’t really going for the midwinter brown, bare-branched look. The indiscriminate Hedge trimmer removed all the greenery. In my haste to get caught up on yard work, my efforts looked choppy and extreme.
Quick, yes, but….
All the things I know to be true about caring for and tending to plants flash across my mind as I stare at the result of my impatient choice. There is a way to prune a shrub that doesn’t leave such scars on the exterior but-it takes more time.
What I know and what I do, don’t always align…
I’ve seen the skillful touch of a master gardener finding individual branches and clipping below the surface, leaving healthy plant life on the exterior. In my humanity and haste, I get frustrated and impatient. Instead of following the lessons of the master gardener, who gently prunes with a snip here and a snip there, I want radical change yesterday, so I end up creating a naked bush, begging for a do-over or at least a different gardener.
For tools, any tool will do, right?
So maybe the Hedge trimmer wasn’t the right tool for this job. The raw evidence of a job done in haste revealed my impatience. I assure myself that the plant will sprout new leaves and cover my rash decision, but hindsight reminds me, I could have chosen a different tool.
Bigger isn’t always better…
My garage is full of tools of varying sizes and purposes. Shovels, rakes, power trimmers, leaf blowers, edgers, loppers and pole saws. My favorite, the hand pruner is small, maybe 7 inches total. It has a sharp curved blade that cuts clean through small branches.
Precision is priceless…
I also know the Master Gardener for being precise. His aim is sure. He doesn’t lay bare everything in my life all at once. In His mercy and grace, He tends to my soul with finesse. He does not use a hedge trimmer on my wayward growth patterns. He carefully, thoughtfully because he knows, and loves me – reaches into the shrub that is my life and snips a little here and trims a little there. Taking his time to nurture and encourage new growth patterns in me.
Patience is a virtue, but I’m in too much of a hurry…
I need to learn it anew, Lord. Slow my pace. Teach me to believe your methods are for my good and your glory. Challenge me to trust your wisdom and the tools of your choosing.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.
James 3:17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.
John 15:1-2 I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
faith walk, forgotten, parenting, perseverance, relationships, resilience
Celebrated days are messy middle days–joy for one, heartache for another.
Looking for the right words to express both-and.
Deep love and appreciation. Humbled by grace and hardened by grief.
Mixed Feelings. Raw emotions.
Loss. Longing. Joy and thanksgiving.
Empty in one relationship. Full in another.
A scale that isn’t balanced.
Expectations. Emotions. Decisions. High mountains. Low valleys.
Mom, daughter, sister, auntie, step-daughter, daughter-in-law, grandma, and the generations go.
Not all celebrated relationships are direct relations.
Embrace what you can.
Sometimes, in the anguish of reality, a brightness warms the night.
Be a light. Walk in the light, it brings hope to darkness.
An experience or individual that shapes us, love of another–
a mother: by choice, by circumstance, or by heart.
From a distance, in your dreams and wishes, in reality and in loss.
Whatever place your mind dwells, on this day of celebrating motherhood,
may you find peace in the imperfection of this life. Joy on your journey,
And grace for the hard, the healing and the hopeful.
christian living, faith walk, forgotten, friendship, life experience, relationships, resilience, spirituality
I didn’t know “seasonal” could describe friendship or that not all friendships last a lifetime.
In my mid-twenties & struggling to understand recent friendship shifts, I observed my mother, a time-tested military wife. She had moved many times, and didn’t have a bestie or a group of gal-pals she reached back to as she was transplanted again. She started where she was, propagating new friendships and cultivating hospitality.
At first, I was sad for her. But my feelings didn’t match her emotions. She wasn’t sad. She had learned to embrace the changes that came with the military lifestyle. Settled and friends took on new meaning. She inwardly mourned the loss of what had been and outwardly embraced the now. She welcomed unfamiliar faces into every home in my memory.
She lived Ecclesiastes 3: There’s a time for every activity under the sun. Like the illustration of planting and harvesting, my mom planted seeds of friendship in the soil of each location.
Do these thoughts about friendship and seasons stir emotions in you?
Have you worked the soil with little to show for it?
For too many years, I carried guilt for friendships that seemed lost in the past, feeling as though I had “failed” to maintain a connection across the planting and harvesting of life.
If you’re in a time of friendship shifting, can I suggest my mom’s habit of tilling the soil of acquaintances?
Reach out and extend hospitality.
- Be the person others can gather with.
- Be patient with the in-between times. They can feel awkward and lonely. Lean into the God who created you. He knows your need for connection. Tell Him how you feel, then keep working the soil. Watch Him provide.
- Be careful that friendship isn’t where you find your security and identity, find it in your relationship with Christ.
- Be a thanksgiver in every season. Send a note or text of appreciation to a friend that enriched your life in a previous season.
Rest your roots in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
christian living, faith walk, perseverance, resilience
You’ve heard the phrases: I hope I get that pay raise. I hope my kids do well in school. I hope the neighbor’s stolen car is found. I hope my team wins. I hope the surgery goes well. I hope the drive through is quick today. The word hope get applied to many situations.
How do you use hope? I have hoped for restored relationships and renewed health. But what does it mean to hope? Where does it come from? Is it anything like a wish? Are hope and wish interchangeable?
Hope /hōp/ noun 1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
Wish /wiSH/verb 1. feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that is not easily attainable; want something that cannot or probably will not happen.
As kids, we wished on stars, hoped for school delays and threw pennies in a fountain. We weren’t devastated when the “wish” didn’t come true, we moved onto the next wish. As grown-ups, we want our wishing and hoping backed by guarantees, better odds, an even playing field, and yet, experience tells us, outcomes aren’t guaranteed. There isn’t an a+b=c equation for life. So how do we find genuine hope?
As I’ve walked with God, growing in my faith and understanding of His character, mentions of hope in the Bible jump out at me. I pay close attention and read them again. How does faith change my understanding of hope?
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5.
Faith gives peace, suffering produces endurance and it allows character building, which causes us to rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not a formula, but not a wish either. Faith and hope are active, not passive, and they begin with God, not me.
“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.” Psalm 42:11
The psalmist reminds himself of God’s salvation. When I’m lacking hope, what do I remind myself of?
“You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in your word.” Psalm 119:114
God is a trustworthy refuge and shield. His word gives hope. I can trust/hope in His word.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11
Next time I’m tempted to wish something could be different, I’ll recall these verses and balance my thought with the God of hope. He is hope. When I’m hoping, it’s in Him, for His honor and glory alone. Hard things aren’t discounted , simplified or overlooked rather, they are looked at through the lens of hope, not my own wishing. Hope is me depending on God. Trusting in His character. His word.
Let’s enter 2022 with renewed hope and faith in God.
Action step: Look in your Bible concordance for the word HOPE and list verses you find. Write them out. Ask God (prayer) to build in you a confidence in Him, in Hope.
faith walk, parenting, perseverance, Prayer, resilience
Giggles and grins to melt your heart, as she spins on the merry-go-round “one more time”. Then over to the bars to show her muscular arms and just once on the swing. Please Gaga?
Amazed at the energy level it takes to keep track of a little one. Grand parenting is a blast and I’m so thankful for it, but wow oh wow–I have renewed giant respect for all the parents out there doing the hard work on the daily. 24/7/365. I’m sure some days feel like they drag on for weeks.
I am praying for you in this season.
Whether you are juggling work schedules, flying solo, co-parenting, dealing with an ex, managing health concerns, fostering a child or children, stepping in to help a friend or family member with parenting, the daily routine must feel endless. I know you love the parenting role, but some days, “being” a parent is just flat out exhausting. Please know, in my book, you all are Super Heroes. Ripped capes, shredded super-suits, the whole messy thing. I applaud you and want to publicly sing your praises. You are the unsung heroes of our society. You are raising the next generation of artists, writers, teachers, biologist, musicians, doctors and engineers. You meet unspoken needs, clothe, bathe, feed, cry with and over your dear littles. (whatever their age, they fall into this category if you are a mom) You set the tone for moods in your home by your responses. You speak love by your actions. You teach by example.
I am praying for you in this season.
You wear so many hats: juggler, educator, EMT, taxi driver, tantrum calmer, booboo kisser, skill set developer, mentor, dream builder, financial advisor, chaperone, host with the most, make-it-happen project helper, number one fan and cheerleader. The list goes on. With all the hats comes the joy of seeing your child grow in their choices, achievements and, must I say, failures. The learning curve on life is sharp. Unexpected curves abound and you just keep plugging away, showing up, cheering them on, loving, directing and doing what needs to be done.
I am praying for you in this season.
May you know your value and worth as a parent.
May you feel sustained on your toughest days.
May you have the courage to reach out when you need help, even a nap.
May you speak life over your children and yourself.
May you guard your heart and mind from lies that bombard you.
May you find your source of strength when the days weaken you to the core.
May your heart find a home where you feel safe and comforted.
May you know the moments are long, but the years are short.
May you keep a long haul, end game perspective where your child is concerned.
May you yourself be the biggest cheerleader and encourager your child knows.
May you offer hospitality to your kids’ friends. An open home is a like a warm hug.
May you listen and observe often. Kids speak without words.
May you know how much you matter to your kids.
May you know you encourage other parents when you share from the heart.
May you know kids seek their parent’s approval always.
May you know you are not alone on this journey.
May you know you can reach out for help, resources, encouragement and prayer.
May the God who created you, your child, your family, be your source of strength, the anchor for your soul, and the confidence you need to press on.
I am praying for you in this season.
Thank you for doing the hero dance daily–regardless of the condition of your cape or super suit!
