I didn’t know “seasonal” could describe friendship or that not all friendships last a lifetime.
In my mid-twenties & struggling to understand recent friendship shifts, I observed my mother, a time-tested military wife. She had moved many times, and didn’t have a bestie or a group of gal-pals she reached back to as she was transplanted again. She started where she was, propagating new friendships and cultivating hospitality.
At first, I was sad for her. But my feelings didn’t match her emotions. She wasn’t sad. She had learned to embrace the changes that came with the military lifestyle. Settled and friends took on new meaning. She inwardly mourned the loss of what had been and outwardly embraced the now. She welcomed unfamiliar faces into every home in my memory.
She lived Ecclesiastes 3: There’s a time for every activity under the sun. Like the illustration of planting and harvesting, my mom planted seeds of friendship in the soil of each location.
Do these thoughts about friendship and seasons stir emotions in you?
Have you worked the soil with little to show for it?
For too many years, I carried guilt for friendships that seemed lost in the past, feeling as though I had “failed” to maintain a connection across the planting and harvesting of life.
If you’re in a time of friendship shifting, can I suggest my mom’s habit of tilling the soil of acquaintances?
Reach out and extend hospitality.
- Be the person others can gather with.
- Be patient with the in-between times. They can feel awkward and lonely. Lean into the God who created you. He knows your need for connection. Tell Him how you feel, then keep working the soil. Watch Him provide.
- Be careful that friendship isn’t where you find your security and identity, find it in your relationship with Christ.
- Be a thanksgiver in every season. Send a note or text of appreciation to a friend that enriched your life in a previous season.
Rest your roots in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”