christian living, faith walk, freedom in Christ, known, loved, seen
For years I hid the words: chaos, questions and mess, behind my cheerful demeanor. Only those closest to me would have guessed how I perceived myself. I was a busy mom keeping up with 3 kids schedules and desperately wanting to look like I had my “stuff’ together.
Some days I did. I could make stuff happen, but I also spiraled mentally. I got all wound up inside wondering if I had done enough, showed up enough, or cleaned up enough. Most people viewed me as an energizer bunny with long lasting batteries.
For me, getting things done came at a cost. As my energy drained, my kids and husband got the short end of my patient stick. In other words the more I got done the more I snapped at them. I didn’t know how to explain the mental gymnastics of wanting “everyone”, and I mean literally everyone, to be pleased with my choices. So my family were the first to see my mental chaos, worry and mess.
Maybe you can relate? Maybe you were like me or you lived with someone like me.
I want you to know that I’m still finding better balance at 61. I’m learning it’s not about achieving perfection, but rather trusting the Perfect One to work in and through me. That meant I had to learn to “let go” of what I often thought was most important.
Too much energy went into a verbal phone battle with a person who couldn’t change the outcome anyway. I snapped at my family instead of saying things nicely. I was telling my kids to do what I say, but not modeling it. What a mess!
I don’t know about you, for me chaos, questions, and messes seem to show up together.
David, my favorite Psalmist, knew about chaos, questions and messes first hand. He didn’t just experience them – he made some of them happen! I’m sure that isn’t what he wanted people to know about him.
Psalm 31:7 ”I will rejoice and be glad in your steadfast love, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the distress of my soul.”
I lean on those words often. Written by the guy who knew a lot about messes and chaos. David who battled lions, giants, kings, nations, lust, and adultery, also lived with the agony of consequences, the joy of repentance and the mercy of renewed hope in God. David knew God saw him in his chaos, knew him in his questions, and loved him in the middle of his mess. He was “a man after God’s own heart.”
That gives me great hope and helps me let go of my striving and keeping up.
I hope you are also learning how completely you are Seen, Known and Loved my friend!
P.S. If David could be seen in his chaos and loved in his mess — so can you.
Twice a month, Yellow Boots Wisdom brings honest encouragement for the woman still trying to “keep it together” — no perfection required, just truth and grace, one letter at a time.
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christian living, faith walk, known, loved, seen, trust
Have you ever felt invisible? Forgotten. Abandoned? Like no one sees you. Or like your presence doesn’t matter? It’s a hollow feeling and a challenging set of emotions to process.
I walked into the room. A room full of tables, people, talking, and laughter, but no eye contact with me, so I made my way through the tables and conversations ready to respond. But that day it was hard – there was no eye contact. It felt like the only person who made any attempt at conversation kept looking beyond me. Maybe she was waiting for someone. I don’t think her actions were meant to make me feel less than, but that day they did. Although I walked away head held high, inside my stomach was knotted up and I felt invisible, like I didn’t belong.
Genesis 16:13 Hagar says, You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “ I have now seen the One who sees me.”
When the world leaves you feeling unseen – know that God cannot unsee what He has created.
- Hebrews 4:13 “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight…”
- Job 28:24 – “For he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.”
- Job 34:21 – “His eyes are on the ways of mortals; he sees their every step.”
- Proverbs 5:21 “For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths.”
- Psalm 139:15-16 – “… My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body…”
- Psalm 33:18 – “But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.”
It is good to be seen by God.
We all want to be seen, known and loved. The opposite of being seen is being invisible. No one wants to feel invisible. God’s Word tells us He sees his children and I believe He does. I have had to focus on what is true rather than how I feel in a moment, it’s not easy. Why? Because feelings can change and even lie to us. My source of truth is God’s Word. I find solace in the timeless words of hope and comfort. It takes practice relying on the Holy Spirit to replace thoughts. They appear uninvited and we have to guard how long they are allowed space.
His Words of Truth:
- Psalms 119:114 it says, “You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word.” He is referring to a continual effort to dwell on truth. He also says in
- Psalms 119:103: “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” The word of God is sweet; it is a refuge and a shield.
- John 17:17, Jesus said: “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth.” There is hope when we feel invisible, forgotten and abandoned.
- Hebrews 4:12 gives this assurance, “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” This helps me to discern feelings from truth.
Friend, we are not abandoned, forgotten or invisible – no matter our feelings. The God who created us sees us, knows us, and loves us always. His words offer comfort and truth to our weary souls. Hold onto truth. Write it out, then speak it over your weary thoughts. It will be sweet refreshment to your soul.
