christian living, spirituality
Hi friends I want to share a few heartfelt notes with you. I love that we have read 21 chapters of John together and have talked about ways to look at and observe the Bible, God’s word.
We have used: ∙ who ∙ what ∙ when ∙where ∙ how ∙ why to observe as we read.
We have looked at: repeated words, cross referencing, and concordance use. We also asked three questions: What does this teach me about God, about mankind/humanity and how should I respond to what I have read or learned? I want to clarify the phrase “what is my response”. This Question should not imply a behavioral checklist. It is a heart check before it is a behavior check. The Pharisees in Jesus day were all about looking good on the outside and list checking. They were oh so judgmental!
I have had many pharisaical days in my life. As much as it pains me to admit that. Trying to live up to some checklist of behavior that I thought would earn me good or better standing with God. You know praying harder or more regularly, attending Bible study, even trying to volunteer at every opportunity. Yes, I had heard the “Good News”. I knew what Christ had done for me, but I did not understand fully that trusting Christ meant my “trying” days were over. Wow!
We started our chapter readings at the end of John 20:31 “these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ the son of God and that by believing you may have life in his name.” Believing – – not by doing a deed but believing that the deed had already been done on my behalf. Boy that can be a hard one. We are hard wired to perform. This culture calls for us to do, to prove, to excel, to try better, work harder, press through, overcome – – none of these are bad in and of themselves but if we take that currency of effort to the cross it buys us nothing. The price had already been paid. I can contribute nothing. So, what do I believe? What truth does my heart rest in? I would love for you to share your thoughts with me. Also, keep asking those questions. It is okay to have questions and to wrestle with answers.
Look with me at John 1:17. It tells us that the law was given through Moses and Grace /Truth came through the perfect Son of God, Jesus Christ. The law only proved its inability to save. There is nothing I can do, no sacrifice or behavior good enough to earn God’s favor. John also told us in chapter 3 verse 16 that God loved the world so much that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. We might ask what would cause men to perish instead of having eternal life? Don’t we all go to heaven? This verse says there is a requirement and it is our belief. Not ten donations to charities and 6 Sundays in a row church attendance. Believe. Acts 16:31 makes is very clear – “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” Belief as in, I’m sure of this and can/will act as though it is true. I would not sit on a chair if I did not believe the legs would support the seat. I would not climb a ladder if I did not believe it would hold my weight. Believing is active not passive. Consider this, “Truly, Truly I say to you whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life. He does not come into judgement but has passed from death to life.” John 5:24
As we read on in chapter 3, we realize that mankind has some challenges. One of those stated in John chapter 3:19, “and this is the judgment, the light has come into the world and people loved darkness more than the light because their works were evil.” The Bible says darkness and light cannot dwell together.
The Bible also says we perish when we cannot acknowledge that separation from God because of sin can only be made right through Jesus Christ. I know sin is not a popular word. Romans 5:1 says: just as sin came into the world through one man and death through sin and so death spread to all men because all sinned. Sin goes clear back to the garden of Eden. Adam & Eve. Apples and serpents. Wanting to be like God. Wanting to be our own God. ” Romans 6:23 says it’s our sin that separates us from God. Does this feel heavy? Wouldn’t it be easier if we could blame someone for this predicament? I know it is a lot to consider. Bear with me – – there is light at the end of this conversational tunnel.
The word gospel means good news!! WooHoo! We are not left hopeless. This Gospel of John has been a great example of what hope in Christ looks like. He healed diseases, He fed the crowds, He turned water into wine. He made the blind to see and made the paralyzed to walk. These things showed his authority over this world. John chapter 3 verse 17 tells us that God did not send his son Jesus into the world to condemn the world but in order that the world might be saved through him. Grace and Mercy. He loved us enough to leave the heavenly realm and offer a way to relationship with him.
It is God, reaching to us, offering the gift of salvation through his Son Jesus and not anything that we can ever do, that bridges the chasm between us. Ephesians 2:8 and 9 describes this gift of God’s grace, ” it’s by Grace you have been saved through faith and this is not of your own doing it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast.” John 5:24 says, “whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life.”
Walking with God, trusting Jesus, acknowledging my inability to redeem or save myself causes me to respond in awe to the love that Christ has shown. Back to John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that he sent his only son that whoever believed in him would not perish but have eternal life.” Can it be so straight forward? John 14:6 declares: Jesus said, “I am the Way the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” I cannot earn salvation. Period. I cannot behave rightly enough to stand in the presence of a holy God. The old testament law required a priest as go between and that law exposed its own inability to save. Always a sacrifice was required to atone for sin. Christ became the ultimate & only perfect sacrifice leaving the way clear for us to stand before the God of the universe as if we had no blemish. Jesus Christ covered us. Covers me, covers you, with his righteousness. So how do we claim his righteousness for ourselves?
We just read many verses that talk about how we can do nothing to earn a position in God’s good grace. We have also read that it is our belief in what Christ has already done: His death, burial, and resurrection 3 days later, according to the scripture – – that saves us. Titus 3:5 says, “Not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Spirit.”
Saved by Grace alone. Through Faith alone, by Christ alone, according to the scripture alone, for the glory of God alone. Christ has already done the work. I need only accept that it has been done on my behalf. Trusting what Christ has already done removes the need for me to try and behave well enough for acceptance. The sacrifice has already been made; the price has already been paid. Jesus paid it all, the old song says, all to him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed me white as snow.
If you believe and want to receive this gift of grace that God offered through his son Jesus Christ – It really is quite simple and transformative. The God of the universe, the God who created you and knew you before you were born wants to be in relationship with you. He sends his Holy Spirit to guide and comfort us. We are renewed by his grace. The old is gone. What a relief that is to cast off the old self for the new garment of Christ.
I’ll leave you with this from Romans 10:9-10, “Confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised you from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”
- Declare your belief.
- Acknowledge that you are separated from God because of sin.
- Admit you fall short and your own behavior can never wash you clean.
- Accept that the price has been paid and the work has been done in Christ.
- His blood, our atonement.
- His sacrifice, our salvation.
- Thank God for this gift and walk in faith and newness of life – eternal life – my friend.
christian living
I want you to know that it’s okay to set one of the spinning plates down. I want you to know that the world doesn’t end if a spinning plate crashes to the ground. Matthew 11:28
I want you to know that as hard as you try to juggle everything- sometimes the exhaustion that comes from that effort brings you to your knees and it will force you to stop. That too is okay. Matthew 11:29
I want you to know that you have value whether or not you accomplish your stated goals. Genesis 1:28-31
I want you to know that having the last word isn’t the most important skill set. James 1:19
I want you to know that as much as you want encouragement, look for someone else who needs to be encouraged. I Thessalonians 5:11
I want you to know that even in the trenches of relationships – whether it’s marriage, mothering or mentoring – you are not alone. The God who created you for such a task is right there with you. He is carrying you through the trench. Isaiah 41:10
I want you to know that even the strongest faith falters and asking questions of God is okay. He’s a big God He can handle it. Psalm 3
I want you to know that you are deeply loved and have purpose because God created you. Your purpose isn’t in what you do but whose you are. Romans 8:12 – 17
I want you to know the hardest expectations to live up to are the ones you set for yourself. Romans 12:3
I want you to know that relationships are hard but worth it. Spouse, Parent/ child, friends, family — all relationships. John 13:34
I want you to know you don’t have to be strong for everyone around you all the time. Others need to know how you handle stress even if that means showing tears, anger, frustration and then supplication to God. 2 Corinthians 12:10
I want you to know children learn about conflict resolution the best by seeing their parents disagree and then make up. If everything happens behind closed doors and the children only hear the angry muffled sounds but not the resolution of the argument, they grow up with no ability to resolve conflict themselves. You must be a living example of what you want them to learn. You learn as much from seeing, as you do from hearing. I Timothy 4:12
I want you to know that Scripture gives a great foundation for life application in all relationships. When scripture tells us how to behave – It is for our good. Romans 12:9, Proverbs 3:3, I Corinthians 16:14
I want you to know you are not your past choices, shortcomings or failures. I John 1:9, Psalm 103:12
I want you to know that not only is Satan the master of lies, he’s the master of disguise, and the sultan of shame. He wants you to feel unworthy and to live under a veil of shame. I Peter 5:8, John 8:44
I want you to know it’s okay to ask for help. Jeremiah 33:3
I want you to know that walking in Christ’s forgiveness is a “once for all” – past, present and future transaction. Romans 6:10, Hebrews 9:12, I Peter 3:18
christian living, relationships
Panic set in as the reality weighed on me – pressing down, making it hard to breathe. I wanted to find one. Just one. Surely there were more than these few.
I pulled album after album off the shelves. Years old and outdated, clear plastic pages stuck to the gummy substance that held the memories captive. At one time I planned to release them from their outdated bondage with a thread or dental floss. Yet, years later, they remain stuck in place. Frantic, I kept turning the aged pages. Mom and Dad, Mom and her grandkids, Mom in a group, Mom from across the room. With every turn, my heart raced faster, I felt like a piece of my life was missing. For all my years as family historian and documentarian, why couldn’t I find more than a couple images of mom and me together?
Although I could picture family times together, I found no evidence of mom standing next to me, just us two, in a captured moment that I could cherish years later.
My throat tightened, forehead clammed up as my breakfast did jumping jacks in my stomach. Anxiety mounted. Without warning, I slumped to the floor, a handful of freed photos in hand, and cried for what couldn’t be reclaimed. For memories lost. For the inability to turn back the hands of time and have a do-over.
Perhaps it’s ironic that I had my mom physically in my life until she was 86, but her ability to interact and carry conversation had left years before. She slowly, painfully slipped into the fog of dementia that kept her repeating herself until she couldn’t really respond at all. She was there physically, but she was not present. Not in the way a daughter longs for: able to acknowledge my mood change, make me smile with an inside joke, interested and able to ask what was new with me, present to comment on the grandkids’ latest activities, physically able to visit my home and enjoy the space with me. She was present in body, but imprisoned deep in her own mind. While thankful to have her in whatever form the Lord allowed, seeing her trapped by this disease of cognitive bondage made me long for the days of words and thoughts, laughter and tears together.
There were seasons that she used some socially adept and learned phrases that seemed more connected to reality: facial expressions that pulled back the veil and gave a glimpse of the vibrant woman she had been. Her conversational tone that once flowed like a babbling brook. She could bubble over with a quick-witted tale and then easily flow into the shallows where the water calmed, and you could make out all the details in the rocks below the surface. Ebb and flow. Over and under, around and through. Coaxing, cajoling, encouraging and laughing. Oh, her laughter. What a gift and playful sound. Her words soothing and uplifting. Hopeful and happy. Truthful but tame. Prompting and pursuing. Laughter laced with love. She lived hospitality with every word, never knowing a stranger, making all she met comfortable in her presence. Like the refreshing sound of a brook as it winds its way over rocks and sings its joyful tune, Mom was a constant melody in the background of my life. She was a welcome sound and a place of soul rest, a cool drink from the life-giving waters of her own deep well.
This panic continued its attack on my memories as I tried to recall the last time I heard her say my name without prompting — the recognition of her child, not the prompted response brought on by well-intended others wanting me to feel as though she was “there” and “knew” me. It’s a loss that is hard to fathom, a cruel tease by the ability to see her and yet know she wasn’t really seeing me. A shell that used to house the woman I knew to be my mom.
These memories of her were part of the longest goodbye. Years of mourning the loss of her presence in my life and in the life of my children.
I ask myself why didn’t I document more? Do I have her voice recorded anywhere? She disappeared long before technology could have been a tool she could enjoy. I try to imagine getting texts, voicemails or even a “selfie” of her – on a walk, in her garden, talking to the surrounding wildlife, making a point without judging – and challenge my thinking to remember Scripture verses she faithfully shared.
What encouraged me as I sat in the panic and anxiety was to realize that the deep well her life-giving water sprang from was not her well only. I too, have access that same resource. I can plant myself by the Living Water that was my mother’s life source. She drank deeply from the wisdom of God’s Word. What I lack in images and photos, I can reclaim from timeless truth that guided her life and choices.
Mom lived her example. She was a walking, talking testimony to the love, hope and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.
I can’t create pictures that don’t exist, but I do know this: Her heart’s desire was for her children and grandchildren to sit at the River and plant themselves near that life-giving flow. To spill over into the lives of others, the hope filled truth of the One who is the Living Water and a cool oasis in life’s deserts. To pull hope from the well that never runs dry. To dive in and let the channel take us where He directs. To make memories that last for eternity as we pour out the joy within us that flows freely from the heart of God.
It is true the pain of loss runs deep, but I am comforted that the well of the One who is faithful runs deeper than the pain of this life. In this I can rejoice: My mother and I, reunited in the Heavenly realm, will stand together worshiping the Living Water, King of Kings, Giver of Life, God Almighty, Righteous and Eternal One. In that moment I will need neither photo nor memory.
